Step One: trust

Anyone who knows me well enough has probably heard me say at some point in the last year that I don't feel like our family is done. Truth be told, there are some days I question my own sanity when I think about it. But, when it comes down to it, I feel like I am supposed to be someone else's mom. For me to "have" another child would mean reversal surgeries and I didn't have great pregnancies, so we would need to adopt. Specifically, I feel drawn to Ethiopia. I decided a long time ago to quit trying to understand it, or rationalize it, or justify it to people- I just came to the realization that God put it on my heart and if he wanted it to happen, it would. The difficult part in that was that Joe, while not outright objecting or yelling "No Way Jose!", didn't necessarily feel the same calling to have more children- biological or otherwise. I will fess up that at first I tried the begging route with him. And of course, there was some emotional outpouring. (My children do not get their drama from their fathers, I am honest about my shortcoming...sorta... hehe) What I realized though, was that if this was TRULY going to be a process God was leading us into, He wouldn't just be leading ME into it. I simply asked Joe to pray that God would make him open to the idea. Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that I stopped talking about adopting completely- far from it! But, I did make a conscious effort to stop talking about it incessantly, and not ask him to commit to something. I want to give God the glory in the entire process, especially the decision to proceed- I didn't want to ever have the thought that I had guilted him into the responsibility of becoming a parent again!
A little over a month ago, on orphan sunday, a group met at our church to start praying about how our church can serve the orphans of the world. I knew immediately I needed to attend, but I purposefully didn't ask Joe. I didn't want to force anything. Just a few days before the meeting, I began committing to getting up and having a quiet time in the mornings- To read scripture or a devotion and to pray over my life and family. What great timing that at the orphan meeting, the host handed out a "40 days of prayer for orphans!" I missed a few weekends, but I always made it a priority to pray DAILY for the cause of the orphan- for the parents that feel the need to give them up, to the caregivers that take care of them, to the churches praying for them, to the families that bring them home- to the orphans themselves. It was life changing. Each day, I prayed specifically that God would use our family in the way according to his plan. I prayed that if it was his will, Joe's heart would be open to adoption, and if not that I would be obedient and find peace in that. (that was the hardest to pray- if I am honest)
Even though the 40 days is over, I am still doing my quiet time, and I am using the prayers in it to continue my prayers for the orphans in the world and how we can be used to help them- even just one of them.
This weekend, I came across some old cd's with pictures of the kids when they were teeny. I spent a few hours just smiling as I flipped through. Such sweet times. And even though we have lots of memorable times these days, there is just nothing quite like the joys of seeing a toddler experience life's wonders.
After awhile, I came back in the living room and snuggled into Joe's arms. We were looking at the Christmas tree, and on a whim I said, "For Christmas I want a bigger family..."
Imagine my suprise when he said, "ok!' Imagine my pure shock when after I asked, "really?" he responded, "sure."
There was some joking that followed and I will admit that the grin on my face might as well have been sewn on, because I couldn't wipe it away. When I finally got the courage to ask for clarification (I wanted to make sure he REALLY meant what I thought he meant), I realized he meant he was open to adoption. We both agreed it won't be happening immediately, but if it is God's will for us, we are BOTH ready to open our hearts to another child- forever. Please pray for use in this journey- there is much to consider and do to prepare.

Business Cards and Golf Shirts

I work in the corporate world. This means I am around lots of networking luncheons, summits, meetings and all around schmoozapaloozas. If you know me, you know that I actually enjoy all of these. I enjoy meeting all kinds of interesting people and learning a little about their lives. I am the stereotypical “people person.” One thing you see at any and every business function, without exception, is the exchanging of business cards. Everyone wants everyone else to know who they are and what they do. Yes, it is handy for getting contact info off of, but let’s be honest - it is mostly about telling people who you are.

I was so excited when I got mine in. Being new to this world, when it is time to go to a function, I usually end up either: a) forgetting them entirely, or b) bringing far too few. I think my children were the first people I gave them out to, because I couldn’t think of anyone else who would want or need one. I justified this by telling myself that I am JUST the administrative assistant, but truth be told, I aspire to a higher position, so I should be better.

Another item I received shortly after being hired was a nifty cool golf shirt with the company logo and name embroidered on the sleeve and chest. I see a lot of other people at various events wearing similar shirts, so I know it’s another one of those “corporate world” must haves. As I mentioned, our shirts are golf shirts - really nice ones. But, I don’t golf. And, to be honest, it’s a men’s golf shirt, so even though I got a small, it nearly touches my knees when I tuck it in. I’m not complaining, mind you. I actually like having the golf shirt better than my business cards. Here’s why. When I wear my shirt, everyone who sees me knows I have some relationship with my company, or I wouldn’t be wearing it. The assumption is that my identity is somehow linked with the company I am advertising. I am essentially bragging about being with the company I work for. I know there are exceptions to this thought process going through your head right now, (like the t-shirt you wear that your Aunt brought back from Graceland) but just go with it. I have a purpose.

So, in getting to that... I am reading a new book that I love, and even though it doesn’t even broach this type of thing, it got me thinking about one thing, which led to another, which led to this: Is my faith- my relationship with God through Christ – a business card or a golf shirt?

Now I know you think I am crazy!

What I mean is, do I treat my Christianity and its impact on my life like a business card that is given out as a kind of, “Hi! I am Carrie, and I am a Christian!” Or, is it more like the logo on my golf shirt, so obviously a part of who I am that everyone who sees me makes that connection instantly? If I am honest with myself, the answer isn’t the one it should be. How often do I, for the sake of making myself look more pious, infuse a conversation with a Biblical reference? What about the casual name dropping of my church name or that of the private Christian school my children attended? The list of instances could go on and on. What I realize, looking at these situations constructively, is that I was “giving out” my faith, like I would a business card, so that I would look good. But was I making God look good? Were my actions matching up to my projected self?

How much different would Carrie look if I wore my faith as openly as the logo on my golf shirt? Again, I don’t think I like the answer, but the truth of it convicts me to work hard to get to that point. I consider myself blessed because I know several amazing people who exemplify this transparency that I can turn to for support and more importantly, accountability. It will take time, and prayer, and time in the Word. The Holy Spirit has sowed the seed of desire in my heart, now it’s up to me to tend it and give it the environment and food that will grow it into a living vine, with fruit that I don’t have to point out to people because they will see it all over me.

My First Recipe Post!!!

In case you didn't know, I LOVE to cook. There aren't many other things that make me as happy. Not many at all. As one of my favorite bloggers/cooks/ranching lady would say, "I'm just keepin' it real!"

So for my first foodie post, I thought I would go simple, yet scrum-dil-y-umptios! It is also a REALLY economical meal for a family- and we all know how important that is in days like we are livin'.

Italian Beef Sandwiches


here's what you'll need:

1 3-5lb rump or chuck tenderloin roast ( I have used both cuts with equally fantabulous results)
3 cups water
1 7 oz italian dressing seasoning packet
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tsp dried parsley
1 bay leaf
package of sliced provolone cheese
1 pack of split hoagie rolls
few TBSP butter

optional:
1 large onion

Got it? great! Let's go!

I wasn't thinking ahead about posting this recipe, so I kinda missed pictures of the first part, but I know you are all very intelligent people, and well, this isn't rocket science, so I am sure you can hang...

Get out your trusty 'ole crock pot. Sigh at how wonderful it is. Heave the roast into the crock.

Now, in a medium saucepan. (please don't use non-stick. I won't go into how bad nonstick is for you, and I too, once used them for all my cooking, but I can't stand to think of all the icky non-stick contamination so just don't use it. Thank you.)

Into the contaminate- free saucepan add all the seasoning and spices to the water and stir, then heat to a boil. Once boiling, pour over the meat, put on the lid, plug in the crockpot and set the cooker on low ( one would think this step was obvious, but I once ruined an entire blissful dinner opportunity because someone turned it on low, but forgot to plug it in. I won't name names because he would get mad at me, again)then, go enjoy the next 10-12 hours.

Oh, did I not mention this was an ALL day recipe? Hey, guess what?! This is an all day recipe! Cool, huh? :)
Not a big deal, it takes MAYBE 5 minutes to prep, and everything else is done 10 hours later. Anyone can do this before work, I promise- I have!

If you don't have 10-12 hours, or you don't remember to make this until after lunch, just crank it on high and cook for 4-5 hours. I can't help you if it is 6 pm...

Once the time is up, it is time to prep the onions and buns. You don't have to have onions, but you really have to have onions. Just trust me. Sauteed onions make everything better. Especially Italian Beef sandwiches.

so, heat up about 2 tbs butter in a cast iron skillet if you have one. If you aren't cool, and just have a regular one it'll work, I guess... ;)

Yay! time for the first pic! Here is how your onions should look when you put them in the skillet:


I am currently drooling.

Now, I try to use no higher than medium heat, so I don't burn them, but just cook them at a nice slow even pace. It probably took 10 minutes to get them to look the way I wanted.



Some people will stop when they just get translucent. They are missing all the sweet goodness that happens as they brown and the sugars inside come alive. I really think I might just eat a plateful of them when my onions in the garden are ready. yes, I am that weird. But you are the one reading about me...:)


Okay, once they are done, put the onions in a small bowl and keep warm. It is time to get back to the meat. Remove the roast from the pot and juices, and put it on a good sized platter.



Now, take 2 forks and just start pulling it apart. Joe likes some chunky pieces, and I like it more finely shredded, so I do a little of both. a 3 lb roast will give you enough for a hungry family- and even have leftover. Guess what I am taking for lunch tomorrow...?



Once it is all shredded, put it back with the juices. I should note that in this picture, it is obvious that this is NOT my crockpot.
I kinda forgot to start making this until around 2:30 on Saturday, so I took all of it out of the crock after 4 hours, cranked the oven to 400 and let it cook in there for about an hour. Worked like a charm.



Anywho, now I just heat maybe a half tbsp of butter in the same skillet I used for the onions and toast my hoagie. Joe likes his untoasted. You can be weird like him if you are worried about the fat in butter. I happen to know it is good for me, and I also like the crispiness of the roll. Whatever you think works is great.



So now you just slap some provolone, pile on the juicy beef, and top with some onions and more cheese, and you get this: (sorry about the dark pic.. taken on iphone after the sun had set)


this is happiness.

I hope you liked my first recipe! I will try to get more up here in the near future... Maybe I'll even use that Uber-expensive professional camera I have to take some decent photos. We'll see!
Let me know what you think if you make it!

Work

I missed church 2 weeks ago. We had a late evening the night before, and as is typical in my house, the laundry wasn’t caught up. That was our big excuse anyway. Many weekends we have a good excuse for missing- sick child, sick parent, and less frequently, a random baby shower to prep for. I will even admit here, for all of cyberspace to read that there truly have been times we didn’t go to church because someone had no clean underwear. I won’t mention who that someone is because he might get mad and not make me any more crackers or pasta. But on this particular Sunday, we were honestly just being lazy, slothful if you were. I always hate the twinge of guilt and regret that God sends me through the sweet words of a 6 yr old, “Mommy, I wish we went to church today.” Can you hear the sound of my soul ripping?

At a friendly cookout THIS past Saturday, a friend from church mentioned the sermon from the previous week, and how it was one of the most convicting she had heard in a long time. I love our pastor, and on more than plenty of occasions I have too been convicted by his presentation of scripture. To be honest, though, I figured it was just because it applied in her mind to something she was going through. Then she said it was about work, and it changed the way she went about the whole week thereafter.

My ears perked up a little.

Work is not one of my favorite words. It brings a connotation of not being able to rest, and I LOVE rest. Not proud of it necessarily, but I am honest enough to admit it as truth. My friend briefly went on to describe the general theme he spoke on, and right then and there, I decided I needed to hear it for myself. Our church has a page of past sermons on its website, in case you or your child is ill, are out of clean skivvies or as in our case, you just feel particularly slothful one Sunday morning.

I jumped online this morning on the drive to work. (one of the redeeming qualities of my iphone) and listened to the sermon.

Wow.

No, really. WOW.

I would highly recommend anyone reading this blog who didn’t hear it already take the 40 minutes or so and listen. I think you will find it as thought provoking and convicting as my friend and I did. It is truly that good. I may tie my 11 yr old down to a chair and make him listen. Better yet, I will remove all of his current song selections from his ipod and load it on there. Because I am just mean enough to do something like that. Bwaahahaha.

Sorry.

To give you a taste, I will share my favorite quote from the sermon:
I am not a transcriptionist, so I hereby give myself artistic freedom to NOT type every single word…but I will try my hardest to keep the integrity and meaning intact.

From Gordon Dahl (sp?)
“Most middle class Americans tend to worship their work, to work at their play, and to play at their worship. As a result, their meanings and values are distorted, their relationships disintegrate faster than they can keep them in repair, and their lifestyles resemble a cast of characters in search of a plot.”
That was powerful to me. And, I think it explains so many things that have always seemed unexplainable. Don’t get me wrong, I REALLY, REALLY like my job, but I don’t worship it by any means. My problem isn’t so much what is spoken of above, but the opposite. As I mentioned, I LOVE rest…

So, what does the Bible say about that?
And about how we should look at work?

Listen for yourself… my opening paragraph to this post will seem relevant after listening...hopefully.

sermon
(click on the sermon titled “Is Work a Curse?”)

paradoxically speaking

I wish that I could actually sing. I imagine lifting my voice high in praise and making a joyful noise unto the Lord. My husband knows that God must have tone- deafness because the sounds that I thrust into the air are not praise worthy, nor are they joyful to hear. This is a sad truth for me to embrace, because I LOVE music. I love listening to the lyrics and applying the words to my life. With a few after-a-long-day-at-work exceptions, my car radio is tuned to a contemporary Christian station. I figure with all the other things in the world pulling me away from my faith, at least I can have something that will bring me back to center when I am out and about. Plus, I want my kids hearing positive music- at least when they are with me! I like this station because there is some more tame praise and worship songs, but there is also some pretty hard core rock. I need to be able to throw my hands up in the air and jump around now and then...okay, quite often, really.

And then there are the songs that convict me and at the same time give me peace about the struggles I am going through. I hear words in the lyrics that I have said or thought, and I know that I am not alone in them. I think certain bands are blessed with this better than others,Jars of Clay seems amazing at it. Here is the newest song of theirs I heard coming to work a few mornings ago...
you can listen to a bit of it, and even buy it at the website of the radio station I listen to.
It's called Air1. it is at 90.9 FM in OKC, or you can listen on the web at www.air1.com




I've been living out of sanity
I've been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

(Chorus)
I use one hand to pull closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I'm a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

(Chorus)

And if we just keep digging
We can reach the foundation Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We'll lose control

Jars of Clay - Two Hands
From the album Long Fall Back To Earth


(Chorus)

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it's coming
It feels like a brand new day Open your eyes


Have a safe and happy Memorial Day!! Go do something to honor a veteran, or service member and family. They pay the ultimate cost for the freedoms we all take for granted- it is time we all let them know how much we appreciate it!

So Sorry....

So sorry Mr. Squirrel for running you over this morning, killing you and causing your tail to go flying through the air in all those little furry puffs.

I didn't see you.

My eyes were burning.

Probably from the Vinegar rinse I did on my hair this morning. My hairthat was wet, a full hour after getting out of the shower- because of the ongoing rain storm.

Another song comes to mind for you today, Mr. Squirrel...

"Blame it on the rain (rain)
Blame it on the stars (stars)
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Get
Ooh, ooh (ooh)
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the rain
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the rain..."
(name that 90's group!!!)

Postscript: Anyone else around here find it somewhat telling that I am having all these problems with rain after posting about how I trusted in God to get me through the flood????

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

Rain, Rain, Go Away.
Come again another day (maybe a week or so from now?)
So in the garden, I can play! (and perhaps actually grow some vegetables to feed my family...if they don't dampen off and require me to spend yet another weekend bent over the dirt making row upon row...)

and in case you're wondering, NO! I am not in a bad mood. Just a little case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) from not seeing the sun in weeks...

judging from the forecast I just saw, it could get MUCH worse before it gets better. Consider yourselves forewarned! ;)

Washed by the Water

"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water.
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love
Turn around and crucify me
I won’t ever ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me"


These song lyrics by Christian group Needtobreathe struck me the first time I heard them. It came out at a time when every worldly thing in my life was in limbo. The house I loved was on the market- too expensive for us to stay in. The phone rang off the hook, day in and day out with calls from people wanting to be paid -seemingly unconcerned with the fact that paying them would mean not feeding my children. The flood wasn't rising, it was overcoming me. But I didn't fall. Not even once.

The storms I went through last fall were a real ground zero in the battleground of my faith. It was the first time since my mom died that I have gone through such a monumental event. And like the earlier struggle, my faith became stronger and more solid, and I saw more than ever that God IS around me. He alone can hold me up. It's an amazing experience to actually throw yourself into his arms- without fear.

All of this is running through my mind today, the song, the past year, because my oldest son, now 11 is being baptized this Sunday. I was only one year older than he is now when I did the same. I still have the picture of me and the others on the beach in Jacksonville. It was a windy day, and the current was strong. I remember being really nervous that the seawater would go up my nose and I would gag or blow snot out my nose in front of all the spectators. Those were the biggest worries I had at 12.

Logan, on the other hand, worries about why God gave us free will. Or, why Satan works harder to pull him away since he is a firstborn. And, why does Adam's original sin still affect us today? And others so complex I can't remember them.

On one hand, I hear his questions and want to run screaming to my pastor and beg him to enroll Logan in seminary so I don't have to think that hard. But on the other hand, I am in awe of my child. I am amazed at the concepts he grasps at such a young age in relation to theology- and about life in general. I look at him today, and realize that I am only now as an adult, asking many of the same questions he is at 12! I am jealous that he will have a deeper relationship with his creator than I did in his transition to adulthood. And I am thankful that God is blessing him with this curiosity about his Saviour.

So, I will celebrate his decision to proclaim his faith with him on Sunday, knowing that even though he makes me pull my hair out most days with his ceaseless questions and incessant attempts to rationalize EVERYTHING he does, there is no question about his heart's desire.

I will rejoice that when the floods come into his life, as they always do, that he will undoubtedly understand and know that he won't ever fall- God is around him.

Spring cleaning

Around these parts, cleaning is somewhat of a fad. A fleeting "mood" that I stumble into at random times, or as is more often the case, I frantically try to accomplish before company comes over. I will try to tell you that I subscribe to the creed, " I live in a home-not a museum!" but, if I were to be honest, I should say it boils down to laziness, exhaustion and plain just-not-caring most of the time. The paradox is- I hate clutter! Abhor it! It makes me feel itchy and twitchy and my skin all creepy crawly. I feel my heart beat faster and I get nervous. This reaction seems odd, I know.
My friends out there with children will no doubt say, " wait a few 18 yrs and it will be clean again." But the kids' messes aren't the issue. It's my messes that truly irritate me. And I have finally figured out why!
I can't stand the idea that people would be able to see a physical, spacial, worldly representation of what the inside of my brain looks like.
It is a disaster. I am a walking, talking, drama-inducing hazmat situation.
SOOO.. this year, in addition to trying to declutter and organize my home (quit snickering, Joe), I am also going to listen to Madge and "Free my mind..!" Mostly, I am going to finally do alot of the things on my To Do list that I have procrastinated on. They eat at me. All day. Today, as I made no fewer than 700 copies of old credit card receipts, my mind was scrolling through all of the things I need to do. For me. For friends. For family. Photography. Bills. Sewing.... oh, the sewing...(ok. I won't lie. I can't WAIT to do the sewing!) Various assortments of tasks that I have pushed aside till later. It is later. They are getting done. I am tired of being tired from fretting about NOT having done them yet.
An obvious side effect of allowing my brain more breathing room, and clearing away its cobwebs will be the ability to compose many more blog entries. Entries that will hopefully be more than just an insight into my insanity I call life, but rather- might actually inspire you! I know- laugh. I just did. But, who knows? Stranger things have happened. I taught 3rd grade remember? THAT is pretty strange- yet, it happened! Leslie Nielson pretended to pass gas on me in the OKC airport. That is BEYOND strange, and yes, I am sad to say, it also happened.
So, enjoy the benefits. Check back often. Bring a glass of wine if you like. You may read about the exciting life of an Administrative Professional, or see pictures of my kids that will make you chuckle. You may even get to follow a journey to Africa for adoption.(praying VERY hard on that one!) You'll get more of me! :)

How to Feel Old... and Love it!

Some of you may not have heard that I have re-entered the work force. To keep it brief, I will simply tell you that I love the company, I love the people, I love the work. God is very good. My relationship with my husband is better, my relationships with my children are better... only my relationship with my dog could use improvement. If he would quit jumping my fence and creating large vet bills I could re-connect with him as well. I am not holding my breath. All is well, and the blessings are plentiful.

With this new endeavor has come the need (HUGE need) for an updated warddrobe. Strangely enough, my faithful yoga pants and hoodies are NOT suitable for office wear. I would be lying if I said this was something that caused me tremendous grief. Truth be told, I have suppressed my love for shopping over the past few years only with the help of God, through lots and lots of prayer. I have missed hunting for bargains in departments other than the children's wear. At stores other than Target. (disclaimer: I STILL love me some Target... I will forever be a fan.) It is nice, however, to expand my palate to include other stores- like the plethora awaiting at the local mall. This brings me to the point of my post.
Going to the mall to shop will make you feel old. REALLY old. Ancient. Dowdy. Might- as-well-be-dead. You can ALMOST avoid this feeling if you stay in one of the major department stores. Venture out into the fluorescent lit franchises, though, and you will feel it immediately.
On this particular day I needed a cute blouse for a night out with some friends, and maybe something to put with one of my new (fabulous) suits.
A friend recommended a store called "Forever 21." anyone who has lived to my age would probably agree when I say that I would never want to be forever 21. I would never go back. Whatever. As I had predicted, many of the items in the store were not appropriate for someone of my "advanced maturity" - not necessarily immodest, just a little too trendy for a grown woman. I did find several options that I thought would be appropriate, and raced back to the fitting rooms. As I tried on my assortment I couldn't help but overhear 2 of the sales girls chatting. They were obviously VERY upset at how another associate was acting and could not believe that she would talk to them the way she did, and went on and on and on, ad nauseum about how "stupid" she was. I truly had to stifle my laugh. It was all of the reasons I would never go back to that age, all being played out in a tiny little store- in front of a bunch of customers. All the pettiness, and cattiness, and silliness that came with youth was on display. Even as I stood there feeling frustrated that birthing 3 children had made clothes fit so awfully, I was SO completely thankful to be where I am today- to have matured through all of that. I was glad I was old! It is true, you do understand your parents as you age. I remember my mom telling me that I would feel this way, and rolling my eyes. I thought she was old and crazy. She probably was, but you know what? I am too now, and she is still right! I decided however that I would simply revel in my oldness, and spare the young girls the lecture. They would have just rolled their eyes at the crazy old lady anyway.

Photo Tag

Aww man... Why did I open her blog today? haha. Just kidding, I love you. And your blog. So, this assignment proved a bit trickier for me, since many of the picture folders I have are of past clients. I have model releases for most, but lately, since I am not advertising, I have slacked off in this.

The actual 6th folder belonged to a client who is an attorney. No way. No how. Not opening that can of worms!
The next folder was the thumbnails from my old website gallery, and then there was one of my AIM buddy icons, so I actually had to go to the 8th folder... but, whatever.



This is my precious nephew. He was almost 1 at this session- as it was November of 2007. His mommy is one of my younger sisters. I love almost everything about her.
Almost Everything.
One thing about her makes me want to scream. It will explain the bells he is holding.

See, my sister is the dreaded type of relative that always buys your kid the most obnoxiously loud or large toy she can. And thinks it is the BEST gift EVER!!!! She gets more excited about it than the kids do. Seriously, folks. It is sad.
On the list of toys she has purchased for my children:
1. A motorized Harley Davidson Powerwheels... it was ridden maybe 3 times by my 2 yr old son. Then it sat in my single car garage for a year. I couldn't put my car inside the garage for a year because of this toy.
2. A 3 ft wide and 6 foot deep basketball game (like the ones you see at an arcade. the ones you shoot the ball at the hoop and they roll back down to you.) Our house at the time was 900 sqft. It wouldn't fit in my son's room, so guess where it went?
Yup. And I had just sold the Powerwheel in a yard sale. My car was forced outside again. Lucky for us, the thing broke after a few weeks, but the headboard haunted us until we moved.
3. Are you ready? A KARAOKE machine. Yeah. Please refer to #2 and note the size of my home. Enough said.

This year, I had a temporary lapse in judgment and actually suggested she get all the boy nephews slingshots (with real marble shots) and crossbows. So far God is protecting them- nothing has been broken and noone hurt. I may have hidden them, but I would deny it if brought up in front of the children. ;)

So this brings us to the bells. God love her, we were at Hobby Lobby looking for things to make Christmas crafts, and almost made it out without anything obnoxious. Almost. Just as we started putting items on the register she spotted a "precious" (her words) set of bells that were all different colors and labeled with the notes. She immediately threw them on the counter. I immediately threw up a little in my mouth.

The rest of our holiday weekend ( God was gracious in keeping it short) was filled with the joyous sounds of children playing together, people cooking the Thanksgiving meal, guys watching football, and my sister- trying to play the variety of songs that were included in the booklet that accompanied the "precious" bells, and then the other kids taking her cue and running through the house as though the redcoats were invading.

As we started taking pictures for their family Christmas card, Anna ran to get the red and green bells. Aww...the perfect props.

It was "precious."
:)

If you read it, and you have a blog.... YOU ARE TAGGED!

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Breathe In, Breathe Out...

God is teaching me about patience. I am thankful for his protection and mercy on my children while going about my instruction. It has not been an easy task for me to endure. Yes, I said endure. I am in a unique situation to many of my friends, in that my oldest child has an outside influence- another parent outside of our home. I was married previously and had him during that marriage. I won't speak ill of my ex, but will say that there are a great many differences of opinion on a great many important things- including those of related to worldview and faith. I could NEVER have imagined all of the implications all those years ago. I am thankful that God has wrapped his hands around Joe and I, too, because I KNOW Joe never imagined all that it would entail to marry me and a 3 yr old. I love that man.

One thing we have struggled with is adjusting to the fact that our son is very bright and while this is a wonderful gift, it presents a lot of challenges. Intellectually, he "gets" more than he can understand "emotionally." Add to this the fact that there are a different set of expectations at his other home, and I tell you there are some days when all I can do is let go and let God, because I have no idea what to do next- or I am afraid I will doom the kid to an adulthood of therapy. I am weird enough to do that on enough things. ;)

I have learned, and I cling to the fact that God has a special love for my son. I know he can be a Great Man of God...but I am still trying to learn how to lead him to that end. I want more than just the behavior to improve, I want his heart to yearn for God.

Today, I am having one of those days where I am taking it one breath at a time... saying very little, and letting God work.
and drinking lots of coffee.
:)

Settling In



On the 3rd day of our endeavor, things are becoming more natural with Saul here. I speak only for myself here. Meaning, I am once again accustomed to rising at a decent hour, cooking breakfast, and getting dressed before rousing the other sleepyheads from their blissful sleep. This is much easier since I have reverted to the wonderful world of coffee. Sorry, folks. I tried- made it a whole week. (Sounds like the whole anti-cell phone endeavor doesn't it?) I am a much happier(read: nicer) and productive person when I have a single cup of java in my system. I would have felt better if Saul drank coffee, but in all honesty, I didn't need much more of a reason than a 6:45 alarm clock wake up to justify my downward spiral. :)

For the most part, I think Saul is adjusting great! He and the boys have a shared love for football, nerf guns and night vision goggles, as well as Wii games. There is some strange turning on and off of the shower in the morning ( it goes on, then of, then on again??) But, I worry about embarrassing him, so I may have hubby try to talk to him. That is my general rule of thumb. If I feel weird asking him something, I try to make Joe do it. His reply tends to be, " This is your thing." Then I bat my eyelashes and beg. Sometimes it works.

We did discover that the student staying down the street with our friendly neighbors speaks fluent English, so I used him yesterday to communicate to Saul that I don't mind him telling Logan to leave him alone. :) I love my son, but he can talk. Alot. Must get it from his dad. ;) Saul laughed. I think he understood what I was implying.

Ooh! I also discovered that both boys know how to Salsa dance. This could prove to be a very fun discovery if I can convince them to teach me...I feel a salsa party in the works! ( don't worry... I can pretty much guarantee Joe will nix that idea. He is allergic to dancing.)

That's all for now. Unless anyone happens to know how to make pate... His mom says he likes that. pate? as in...liver??? not sure if I can go that far.

Carrie

Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness!

In a little more than 30 minutes, a plane will be touching down and Will Rogers International Airport. On board that plane is a group of young people who boarded in roughly 90 degree weather only to de-plane in the upper 30's.

In a little more than an hour I will be responsible for another living being. To feed him, to make sure he bathes, to ferry him.
( it doesn't matter what country you are from, mom's ferry the kids. I think it is truly wired into the female genome. Mary ferried Jesus- and lost him! Please Lord, don't let me lose this child. I don't think his mom would be very thrilled.)

In keeping with the female genome line of thinking, and all the side effects we suffer thus, I am of course getting rather anxious.
Oh, you know what I am talking about...
"Will he like us? Will he feel comfortable in the bed? Does the mattress still smell a little stale even though I emptied a bottle of febreeze onto it? Will he complain of a headache from the febreeze? Can you die from inhaling too much febreeze?" OY!

And then I proceed to, "Will Clara shut the bathroom door when she potties? Will she be quiet so as not to wake him up in the morning? Will he like the cereal we have? Will he like it better if I cook breakfast? Will he like the way I make eggs? Will he like our raw milk? Will he want more than milk or juice or water to drink? Will he like the water here? WIll he get diarrhea from the water here? Will he drink coffee, even though he is only 13? ( Oh, how I PRAY he does! I need an excuse to start drinking it again!)
And the insanity goes on. And on. And on.
Ad infinitum.
Ad nauseum.
But, I can't write anymore, because I still have to go put hangers in his closet and clean out a few of the dresser drawers for his clothes. Oh... Do you think he will want me to wash his clothes? Even his underwear???

AACK! at least I thought to buy the booklet entitled, " Daily Spanish for Dummies" in the dollar section at Target. At least now I should be able to understand him, right?

;) Carrie

Change Is A-Comin'!

It is in the air around here! This feeling that things are different, new. No, I did not change my hair color again (yet). Strangely enough, in our house, it has nothing to do with the fact that a NEW year has just begun. I think ours is more exciting!
We found out about a week ago that we get to stay in our sweet little home in Logan County, America. We were ready to move, to walk away thankfully, but God made it possible for us to stay. Praise Him!
In other news, Joe and I realized right after Christmas that we don't like being fluffy,,, it's highly over-rated. His sister contacted us the day after our realization, noting she felt much the same, so we all joined this great healthy -living site called and committed to making healthier choices. For us, as an added incentive, we are training to go back to where it all began for the Chlebanowskis in America, and run the Chicago Marathon in October. It could be scary, folks.
the lifestyle change is going great so far- noone has pulled any major muscles or fainted from calorie restriction, yet.
The last news I will share with you for now is about our family. Ever since my princess was born, I knew I was done having children. But, I also felt like our family was meant to have one more member. Moose has helped (he's like a perpetual toddler with his antics) but it isn't the same.
In a few short days, our family will be growing! A new child will call this house home!! YAY!
Another sweet laugh will fill the air, and another pair of feet will drag Oklahoma clay through the livingroom.
But, I won't have to potty train this one. He already sleeps through the night. Weaning is also a non-issue.
This sounds like the perfect child, no?
I think so! Too bad we are only "borrowing" him for 6 weeks.
Okay, fine, here is the truth- We are hosting a student from Panama for 6 weeks that is coming to Oklahoma to learn English through an immersion program. (Still wondering who thought Oklahoma was a great place for that, but will gladly reap the benefits!) I hope to be sharing the experience with you through my blog. Should prove to be pretty entertaining! I can only imagine the antics that will ensue when my children have a new "in-home" friend. I also hope I can provide his Madre y Padre a slight sense of relief that their baby ( 13 is still a baby ya'll!) is safe and sound here in the Good 'Ole USA...

Other things are in the works, but not ready to share, so keep checking back!
Blessed,
Carrie