Perspective is a humbling thing. One moment I am feeling low and troubled because of finances, and the next I am crying at my selfishness because of a picture of a child in Haiti that is literally starving to death. I am able to start a business to help make more money, but some people can't get food for their children because there are no roads for the trucks to get to their village. I don't question why God would allow this to happen- I accepted long ago that He is WAY better at determining what is good, and right and necessary. It does place a burning on my heart, though. I reiterates my desire to serve Him by serving those in need. To go hold those babies and give them some milk. To take pictures that show others how God can use them to help. To hold their mothers' hands and tell them Jesus loves them and can save them. To encourage them with what I have learned in my seemingly miniscule situation- that even in the midst of this, God is good.

The men in suits at the big food companies have done their jobs well! My 10 yr. old has fallen for their claims that Fruit Loops are healthy because they are made with whole grains, and Sunny Delight has lots of good vitamins, so I should buy it instead of juicy Juice. Oy Vey!

We are in the process of changing our eating habits in our household. In a HUGE way. Gradually, we are eliminating processed foods, and trying to buy only whole, raw, organic products. Anyone on a budget can understand how frustrating this can be. And I would be lying if there weren't days I wanted to stand in the middle of Super Walmart and scream, "YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE FAT!!!!!!!" Because truth be told, the "cheap" foods that are accessible to people on limited incomes are killing them. They are laden with chemicals, processed beyond recognition and the preserved for longer shelf life. I am a transparent person. My family qualifies for assistance, and right now, we are using it. How crazy I must look to the cashier getting my free cheese and eggs and milk, and then filing the rest of my cart with expensive organic foods. Why is this country so unhealthy? Why can't I get free range eggs that are better for me kids for free? Why does it cost $10 a lb to buy chicken and beef that hasn't been bred to be "plumper" or fed soy??? 100 years ago our food sources weren't genetically altered or bred for production, chemicals weren't sprayed all over vegetables to make sure more got to the production plants, and guess what.. less cancer, less obesity, ADD was UNHEARD of as was autism, food allergies and a long list of other problems. OH! and they ATE ANIMAL FAT!!!! and hardly any of them had heart disease. Thank goodness in our modern age of science and technology, things ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!! Oy vey!
I think I need to go have a big glass of milk that came from a cow roaming around somewhere in a field in Asher, OK and take a nap! :)

I am excited we aren't moving. I was excited that we were moving. Sounds like I am a confused individual, doesn't it? I'm not- not in the slightest! (disclaimer: I am not confused about this particular subject. Many things confuse and confound me, but we will delve into those at a later date.)
I think I can rationalize how I can say both of the aforementioned sentiments and mean them is by telling you I have learned to be content in my life. I am content to stay here. I am content to move. I am content to be in a position to be content!
Put simply, I am at a place where I won't let myself become too attached to any "thing"- in this case, our house. I LOVE this house (except the flooding back yard, but given time and $$ that can be remedied) and all that goes with it. More than that, I love the people who fill my days that are close to this house. Many have crossed the line from friends to family in our 2 years here. BUT, take the house away, and I will STILL have those people. I won't have my cute garden, or the portrait wall, or my perennial garden, ,but those friends have become a permanent part of my life. I could move to Timbuktu and still have them in my life. So all is good in my eyes.
For now I am relishing the ability to have a messy house if I want to ( last minute showings about sent me over the edge!) and I think I may begin personalizing my "house" again this week. Anyone like to come help paint?

I have believed for a long time that any skills I have in photography are gifts from my Lord. It is that knowledge that prompted me to do my work with organizations like NILMDTS and the ACPCG, and fired me up to do the sessions with a local pediatric hospice. I cannot describe the blessings I have received and the grace and strength I have witnessed in the families I have met through those experiences. It really puts life and its struggles in perspective. But, I want to do more. I NEED to do more. Ever since I can remember, I get a feel a strong tug at my heart when I read or hear about missions. Over seas, but particularly Africa. I used to reason it off to the fact that I grew up in the 80's- the age of Live Aid. But when I shared my "weird" obsession recently with a visiting missionary at our church's missions conference, she explained it perfectly by saying, "Praise God for that!" Isn't it funny that I, a practicing Christian so willing to give God credit for everything else in my life, never once considered that He had placed this desire on my heart! Since that "Ah ha!" moment, I have been praying and looking actively for a way to use my photography in the mission field. At first I told my husband wanted to move the family to Africa for a year so I could teach at a school for missionary children. Those of you who know my husband will be shocked to hear that he didn't laugh. I was shocked he didn't laugh, actually. I was shocked he didn't do more than laugh! He doesn't share the desire to do missions. But here is the amazing part- he told me that if I felt I was called to do something, even if he wasn't interested in it, he couldn't say no. He couldn't deny me from going where the Spirit leads me. After alot of discussion, we both agreed a year in Africa, though an amazing experience, was not the right "fit" at this stage in our lives. So now I am actively looking for short term missions that need a photographer with a Journalism degree to-boot in spreading the word about spreading the Word. It's the Great Commission, 21st Century style!