1. I am fat.
2. I am fat because I love food.
3. I love food too much. My butt is a good voucher for this.
4. I think I subconsciously think the food is going to love me back.
5. The food doesn't love me back. It only loves the space it inhabits on my aforementioned butt.
6. I actually notice myself craving exercise lately. Think maybe my butt is trying to tell me something?
7. I am much more productive at doing laundry and other household chores while listening to music on my ipod.
8. Alvin and The Chipmucks has a great soundtrack.
9. I may actually get in shape with this workout routine- my house may stay clean too!
10. I am more than likely certifiable.

Here is to the close to another year, and to the blessings that are sure to come in 2009! God Bless You!
Love,
Carrie

I am really a mess this year. I LOVE cookies, fudge, and pretty much any other dessert that is commonly found in November and December. I grew up watching my dad make all of it. And eating it. And eating it. And eating it... ad nauseum. But something has happened to my body this last year. I can't eat all the foods, in the quantities of years past, without paying the price in my derriere.
As in NONE of my pants or skirts from last year will slide over my newly curvaceous figure.
By curvaceous, please be advised I DO NOT mean 50's-pinup-silhouette, nor should images of Botticelli, Da Vinci, or any other Renaissance paintings be evoked in your mind.
No, the curves of which I speak are more like the underside of the smoked ham after sitting in its plastic net-bag that are all on sale at Target right now. Not a thing of beauty to be admired for generations on end.

So, you ask, what do I do to combat this evil?

Reason says I should be making changes to accommodate my body's new lack of get-up-and-burn. And I have! I take a plethora of supplements that do make a big difference in the way I feel, and I am taking steps (itsy bitsy, teeeeeny, tiny baby steps though they may be) to switch my whole family to a raw, whole food diet, free from processed sugars and technologically derived or created "stuff."
I have experienced how the less of the bad stuff we eat, the less we miss it. Our bodies REALLY do work better when we feed them better foods. And better foods aren't necessarily what the popular and so-called "experts" tell you. They can be the total opposite, actually. Technology does not make all things better. Modern medicine does not know and cure all. Traditional, whole foods the way they were made BEFORE mass-production started are really all they are purported to be! I have realized I am not 20 and will actually have to DO something to tone up this jiggly mess.
Realization is the first step in the 12-step process, and, alas, I have not yet gotten to the step where I actually DO something...
I think that is step 12? "Hello my name is Carrie..."
All of this awareness makes me feel like I am headed in the right direction.

I have subscribed to the wisdom of "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!"

But, you want to know how I deal best with this dreaded discontent with my behind?





I make cookies and fudge and pretty much any other dessert that is commonly found in November and December.

Foggy day here today in Oklahoma. Weird Foggy. Not the normal "gone-by-midmorning" fog. I mean, it's almost evening folks and the fog never rose. This causes problems for those of us ninnies who haven't finished Christmas shopping. Snow I will drive in. Rain- big deal! Ice.. well, okay, won't go out on that either. But seriously, fog? Fog scares me. There are too many hills out here in the boonies. Too many deer. And WAY too many crazy drivers on the country roads who don't use lights, much less their brakes. Nah, I'll stay inside today and snuggle up to photoshop. Maybe actually finish editing the pictures I needed done 2 weeks ago. And, I'll make Ree's cookies 'cause they are chocolate and it feels like a chocolate day. I might actually match all the socks in our 50 gallon sock tub, too. I detest that sock tub.
Who am I kidding? I think I may go back and reclaim my spot between the two precious angels asleep on my bed. That sounds like a much better way to deal with the fog.

Perspective is a humbling thing. One moment I am feeling low and troubled because of finances, and the next I am crying at my selfishness because of a picture of a child in Haiti that is literally starving to death. I am able to start a business to help make more money, but some people can't get food for their children because there are no roads for the trucks to get to their village. I don't question why God would allow this to happen- I accepted long ago that He is WAY better at determining what is good, and right and necessary. It does place a burning on my heart, though. I reiterates my desire to serve Him by serving those in need. To go hold those babies and give them some milk. To take pictures that show others how God can use them to help. To hold their mothers' hands and tell them Jesus loves them and can save them. To encourage them with what I have learned in my seemingly miniscule situation- that even in the midst of this, God is good.

The men in suits at the big food companies have done their jobs well! My 10 yr. old has fallen for their claims that Fruit Loops are healthy because they are made with whole grains, and Sunny Delight has lots of good vitamins, so I should buy it instead of juicy Juice. Oy Vey!

We are in the process of changing our eating habits in our household. In a HUGE way. Gradually, we are eliminating processed foods, and trying to buy only whole, raw, organic products. Anyone on a budget can understand how frustrating this can be. And I would be lying if there weren't days I wanted to stand in the middle of Super Walmart and scream, "YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE FAT!!!!!!!" Because truth be told, the "cheap" foods that are accessible to people on limited incomes are killing them. They are laden with chemicals, processed beyond recognition and the preserved for longer shelf life. I am a transparent person. My family qualifies for assistance, and right now, we are using it. How crazy I must look to the cashier getting my free cheese and eggs and milk, and then filing the rest of my cart with expensive organic foods. Why is this country so unhealthy? Why can't I get free range eggs that are better for me kids for free? Why does it cost $10 a lb to buy chicken and beef that hasn't been bred to be "plumper" or fed soy??? 100 years ago our food sources weren't genetically altered or bred for production, chemicals weren't sprayed all over vegetables to make sure more got to the production plants, and guess what.. less cancer, less obesity, ADD was UNHEARD of as was autism, food allergies and a long list of other problems. OH! and they ATE ANIMAL FAT!!!! and hardly any of them had heart disease. Thank goodness in our modern age of science and technology, things ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!! Oy vey!
I think I need to go have a big glass of milk that came from a cow roaming around somewhere in a field in Asher, OK and take a nap! :)

I am excited we aren't moving. I was excited that we were moving. Sounds like I am a confused individual, doesn't it? I'm not- not in the slightest! (disclaimer: I am not confused about this particular subject. Many things confuse and confound me, but we will delve into those at a later date.)
I think I can rationalize how I can say both of the aforementioned sentiments and mean them is by telling you I have learned to be content in my life. I am content to stay here. I am content to move. I am content to be in a position to be content!
Put simply, I am at a place where I won't let myself become too attached to any "thing"- in this case, our house. I LOVE this house (except the flooding back yard, but given time and $$ that can be remedied) and all that goes with it. More than that, I love the people who fill my days that are close to this house. Many have crossed the line from friends to family in our 2 years here. BUT, take the house away, and I will STILL have those people. I won't have my cute garden, or the portrait wall, or my perennial garden, ,but those friends have become a permanent part of my life. I could move to Timbuktu and still have them in my life. So all is good in my eyes.
For now I am relishing the ability to have a messy house if I want to ( last minute showings about sent me over the edge!) and I think I may begin personalizing my "house" again this week. Anyone like to come help paint?

I have believed for a long time that any skills I have in photography are gifts from my Lord. It is that knowledge that prompted me to do my work with organizations like NILMDTS and the ACPCG, and fired me up to do the sessions with a local pediatric hospice. I cannot describe the blessings I have received and the grace and strength I have witnessed in the families I have met through those experiences. It really puts life and its struggles in perspective. But, I want to do more. I NEED to do more. Ever since I can remember, I get a feel a strong tug at my heart when I read or hear about missions. Over seas, but particularly Africa. I used to reason it off to the fact that I grew up in the 80's- the age of Live Aid. But when I shared my "weird" obsession recently with a visiting missionary at our church's missions conference, she explained it perfectly by saying, "Praise God for that!" Isn't it funny that I, a practicing Christian so willing to give God credit for everything else in my life, never once considered that He had placed this desire on my heart! Since that "Ah ha!" moment, I have been praying and looking actively for a way to use my photography in the mission field. At first I told my husband wanted to move the family to Africa for a year so I could teach at a school for missionary children. Those of you who know my husband will be shocked to hear that he didn't laugh. I was shocked he didn't laugh, actually. I was shocked he didn't do more than laugh! He doesn't share the desire to do missions. But here is the amazing part- he told me that if I felt I was called to do something, even if he wasn't interested in it, he couldn't say no. He couldn't deny me from going where the Spirit leads me. After alot of discussion, we both agreed a year in Africa, though an amazing experience, was not the right "fit" at this stage in our lives. So now I am actively looking for short term missions that need a photographer with a Journalism degree to-boot in spreading the word about spreading the Word. It's the Great Commission, 21st Century style!

The day on which home schooling mother awakens prepared and eager to start the week on a great note, has showered, made coffee and prepared the lessons for the day is also the day her oldest child will awaken ill and hence spend the entire morning sleeping in bed.

quote for the day (courtesy of "The Pioneer Woman

"Homeschooling....There is no substitute."

7 months- time since my last post (shameful)
2 months- time since I left my teaching position
1 month- time since I started homeschooling ( seriously, that's it??)
11 miles- distance into town from where I currently live
1,308 miles- distance to where I WANT to live from where I currently live (courtesy of google maps)
3- number of different haircolors I have had in the past 2 months
3- number of children I am currently neglecting to type this post
2 lb- amount of raw chicken my dog eats each day
2 gals- quantity of raw milk I purchased for my children this week
too much to count- the laundry awaiting me...

enjoy your day for me!

How is it FEBRUARY????
Ugh...
Well, It is and things here are crazy as always. I am beginning to wonder if I could even function or if I would know what to do if there wasn't SOME kind of drama in my life...I think God is yelling "SLOW DOWN!!" but, see, I have this little problem called "over-committal" and it makes the letters "N-O" virtually impossible to say. My lips are seemingly incapable of forming that word, to the extent I am beginning to wonder if this condition is not merely psychological, but physiological- I will do some research and get back to you on that. If life goes true to form, I wouldn't expect the conclusion to that research to be available anytime in the next 4 mths.
I am also going through a huge internal struggle right now. I LOVE teaching. LOVE LOVE LOVE it... crazy passionately LOVE it. I LOVE photography. LOVE it...confused teenager LOVE it. See my problem? Aaah.. I dunno, I suppose I need to just pray about it some more, bore my husband to tears with my rambling internal-turned-external debates, and see if it isn't just a case of "I always feel this way about photography in January and February."
Because, truth be told, there is something magical about spring and the newness of things that changes my perspective...

so for now, I will reminisce of happier times, days when the eggnog was still on your breath, the tinsel still hanging on the tree, and I had 3 more days of not getting up at 5:30 am...:)