paradoxically speaking

I wish that I could actually sing. I imagine lifting my voice high in praise and making a joyful noise unto the Lord. My husband knows that God must have tone- deafness because the sounds that I thrust into the air are not praise worthy, nor are they joyful to hear. This is a sad truth for me to embrace, because I LOVE music. I love listening to the lyrics and applying the words to my life. With a few after-a-long-day-at-work exceptions, my car radio is tuned to a contemporary Christian station. I figure with all the other things in the world pulling me away from my faith, at least I can have something that will bring me back to center when I am out and about. Plus, I want my kids hearing positive music- at least when they are with me! I like this station because there is some more tame praise and worship songs, but there is also some pretty hard core rock. I need to be able to throw my hands up in the air and jump around now and then...okay, quite often, really.

And then there are the songs that convict me and at the same time give me peace about the struggles I am going through. I hear words in the lyrics that I have said or thought, and I know that I am not alone in them. I think certain bands are blessed with this better than others,Jars of Clay seems amazing at it. Here is the newest song of theirs I heard coming to work a few mornings ago...
you can listen to a bit of it, and even buy it at the website of the radio station I listen to.
It's called Air1. it is at 90.9 FM in OKC, or you can listen on the web at

I've been living out of sanity
I've been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

I use one hand to pull closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high

I have a broken disposition
I'm a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof


And if we just keep digging
We can reach the foundation Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We'll lose control

Jars of Clay - Two Hands
From the album Long Fall Back To Earth


And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it's coming
It feels like a brand new day Open your eyes

Have a safe and happy Memorial Day!! Go do something to honor a veteran, or service member and family. They pay the ultimate cost for the freedoms we all take for granted- it is time we all let them know how much we appreciate it!


Disney's World said...

What is the name of the song? I'm am looking it up on itunes right now.

Disney's World said...

haha...there's the title, Sorry! I agree...very good song!