So sorry Mr. Squirrel for running you over this morning, killing you and causing your tail to go flying through the air in all those little furry puffs.

I didn't see you.

My eyes were burning.

Probably from the Vinegar rinse I did on my hair this morning. My hairthat was wet, a full hour after getting out of the shower- because of the ongoing rain storm.

Another song comes to mind for you today, Mr. Squirrel...

"Blame it on the rain (rain)
Blame it on the stars (stars)
Whatever you do don't put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Get
Ooh, ooh (ooh)
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the rain
I can't, I can't. I can't, can't stand the rain..."
(name that 90's group!!!)

Postscript: Anyone else around here find it somewhat telling that I am having all these problems with rain after posting about how I trusted in God to get me through the flood????

Rain, Rain, Go Away.
Come again another day (maybe a week or so from now?)
So in the garden, I can play! (and perhaps actually grow some vegetables to feed my family...if they don't dampen off and require me to spend yet another weekend bent over the dirt making row upon row...)

and in case you're wondering, NO! I am not in a bad mood. Just a little case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) from not seeing the sun in weeks...

judging from the forecast I just saw, it could get MUCH worse before it gets better. Consider yourselves forewarned! ;)

"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water.
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love
Turn around and crucify me
I won’t ever ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me"


These song lyrics by Christian group Needtobreathe struck me the first time I heard them. It came out at a time when every worldly thing in my life was in limbo. The house I loved was on the market- too expensive for us to stay in. The phone rang off the hook, day in and day out with calls from people wanting to be paid -seemingly unconcerned with the fact that paying them would mean not feeding my children. The flood wasn't rising, it was overcoming me. But I didn't fall. Not even once.

The storms I went through last fall were a real ground zero in the battleground of my faith. It was the first time since my mom died that I have gone through such a monumental event. And like the earlier struggle, my faith became stronger and more solid, and I saw more than ever that God IS around me. He alone can hold me up. It's an amazing experience to actually throw yourself into his arms- without fear.

All of this is running through my mind today, the song, the past year, because my oldest son, now 11 is being baptized this Sunday. I was only one year older than he is now when I did the same. I still have the picture of me and the others on the beach in Jacksonville. It was a windy day, and the current was strong. I remember being really nervous that the seawater would go up my nose and I would gag or blow snot out my nose in front of all the spectators. Those were the biggest worries I had at 12.

Logan, on the other hand, worries about why God gave us free will. Or, why Satan works harder to pull him away since he is a firstborn. And, why does Adam's original sin still affect us today? And others so complex I can't remember them.

On one hand, I hear his questions and want to run screaming to my pastor and beg him to enroll Logan in seminary so I don't have to think that hard. But on the other hand, I am in awe of my child. I am amazed at the concepts he grasps at such a young age in relation to theology- and about life in general. I look at him today, and realize that I am only now as an adult, asking many of the same questions he is at 12! I am jealous that he will have a deeper relationship with his creator than I did in his transition to adulthood. And I am thankful that God is blessing him with this curiosity about his Saviour.

So, I will celebrate his decision to proclaim his faith with him on Sunday, knowing that even though he makes me pull my hair out most days with his ceaseless questions and incessant attempts to rationalize EVERYTHING he does, there is no question about his heart's desire.

I will rejoice that when the floods come into his life, as they always do, that he will undoubtedly understand and know that he won't ever fall- God is around him.

Around these parts, cleaning is somewhat of a fad. A fleeting "mood" that I stumble into at random times, or as is more often the case, I frantically try to accomplish before company comes over. I will try to tell you that I subscribe to the creed, " I live in a home-not a museum!" but, if I were to be honest, I should say it boils down to laziness, exhaustion and plain just-not-caring most of the time. The paradox is- I hate clutter! Abhor it! It makes me feel itchy and twitchy and my skin all creepy crawly. I feel my heart beat faster and I get nervous. This reaction seems odd, I know.
My friends out there with children will no doubt say, " wait a few 18 yrs and it will be clean again." But the kids' messes aren't the issue. It's my messes that truly irritate me. And I have finally figured out why!
I can't stand the idea that people would be able to see a physical, spacial, worldly representation of what the inside of my brain looks like.
It is a disaster. I am a walking, talking, drama-inducing hazmat situation.
SOOO.. this year, in addition to trying to declutter and organize my home (quit snickering, Joe), I am also going to listen to Madge and "Free my mind..!" Mostly, I am going to finally do alot of the things on my To Do list that I have procrastinated on. They eat at me. All day. Today, as I made no fewer than 700 copies of old credit card receipts, my mind was scrolling through all of the things I need to do. For me. For friends. For family. Photography. Bills. Sewing.... oh, the sewing...(ok. I won't lie. I can't WAIT to do the sewing!) Various assortments of tasks that I have pushed aside till later. It is later. They are getting done. I am tired of being tired from fretting about NOT having done them yet.
An obvious side effect of allowing my brain more breathing room, and clearing away its cobwebs will be the ability to compose many more blog entries. Entries that will hopefully be more than just an insight into my insanity I call life, but rather- might actually inspire you! I know- laugh. I just did. But, who knows? Stranger things have happened. I taught 3rd grade remember? THAT is pretty strange- yet, it happened! Leslie Nielson pretended to pass gas on me in the OKC airport. That is BEYOND strange, and yes, I am sad to say, it also happened.
So, enjoy the benefits. Check back often. Bring a glass of wine if you like. You may read about the exciting life of an Administrative Professional, or see pictures of my kids that will make you chuckle. You may even get to follow a journey to Africa for adoption.(praying VERY hard on that one!) You'll get more of me! :)

Some of you may not have heard that I have re-entered the work force. To keep it brief, I will simply tell you that I love the company, I love the people, I love the work. God is very good. My relationship with my husband is better, my relationships with my children are better... only my relationship with my dog could use improvement. If he would quit jumping my fence and creating large vet bills I could re-connect with him as well. I am not holding my breath. All is well, and the blessings are plentiful.

With this new endeavor has come the need (HUGE need) for an updated warddrobe. Strangely enough, my faithful yoga pants and hoodies are NOT suitable for office wear. I would be lying if I said this was something that caused me tremendous grief. Truth be told, I have suppressed my love for shopping over the past few years only with the help of God, through lots and lots of prayer. I have missed hunting for bargains in departments other than the children's wear. At stores other than Target. (disclaimer: I STILL love me some Target... I will forever be a fan.) It is nice, however, to expand my palate to include other stores- like the plethora awaiting at the local mall. This brings me to the point of my post.
Going to the mall to shop will make you feel old. REALLY old. Ancient. Dowdy. Might- as-well-be-dead. You can ALMOST avoid this feeling if you stay in one of the major department stores. Venture out into the fluorescent lit franchises, though, and you will feel it immediately.
On this particular day I needed a cute blouse for a night out with some friends, and maybe something to put with one of my new (fabulous) suits.
A friend recommended a store called "Forever 21." anyone who has lived to my age would probably agree when I say that I would never want to be forever 21. I would never go back. Whatever. As I had predicted, many of the items in the store were not appropriate for someone of my "advanced maturity" - not necessarily immodest, just a little too trendy for a grown woman. I did find several options that I thought would be appropriate, and raced back to the fitting rooms. As I tried on my assortment I couldn't help but overhear 2 of the sales girls chatting. They were obviously VERY upset at how another associate was acting and could not believe that she would talk to them the way she did, and went on and on and on, ad nauseum about how "stupid" she was. I truly had to stifle my laugh. It was all of the reasons I would never go back to that age, all being played out in a tiny little store- in front of a bunch of customers. All the pettiness, and cattiness, and silliness that came with youth was on display. Even as I stood there feeling frustrated that birthing 3 children had made clothes fit so awfully, I was SO completely thankful to be where I am today- to have matured through all of that. I was glad I was old! It is true, you do understand your parents as you age. I remember my mom telling me that I would feel this way, and rolling my eyes. I thought she was old and crazy. She probably was, but you know what? I am too now, and she is still right! I decided however that I would simply revel in my oldness, and spare the young girls the lecture. They would have just rolled their eyes at the crazy old lady anyway.

Aww man... Why did I open her blog today? haha. Just kidding, I love you. And your blog. So, this assignment proved a bit trickier for me, since many of the picture folders I have are of past clients. I have model releases for most, but lately, since I am not advertising, I have slacked off in this.

The actual 6th folder belonged to a client who is an attorney. No way. No how. Not opening that can of worms!
The next folder was the thumbnails from my old website gallery, and then there was one of my AIM buddy icons, so I actually had to go to the 8th folder... but, whatever.



This is my precious nephew. He was almost 1 at this session- as it was November of 2007. His mommy is one of my younger sisters. I love almost everything about her.
Almost Everything.
One thing about her makes me want to scream. It will explain the bells he is holding.

See, my sister is the dreaded type of relative that always buys your kid the most obnoxiously loud or large toy she can. And thinks it is the BEST gift EVER!!!! She gets more excited about it than the kids do. Seriously, folks. It is sad.
On the list of toys she has purchased for my children:
1. A motorized Harley Davidson Powerwheels... it was ridden maybe 3 times by my 2 yr old son. Then it sat in my single car garage for a year. I couldn't put my car inside the garage for a year because of this toy.
2. A 3 ft wide and 6 foot deep basketball game (like the ones you see at an arcade. the ones you shoot the ball at the hoop and they roll back down to you.) Our house at the time was 900 sqft. It wouldn't fit in my son's room, so guess where it went?
Yup. And I had just sold the Powerwheel in a yard sale. My car was forced outside again. Lucky for us, the thing broke after a few weeks, but the headboard haunted us until we moved.
3. Are you ready? A KARAOKE machine. Yeah. Please refer to #2 and note the size of my home. Enough said.

This year, I had a temporary lapse in judgment and actually suggested she get all the boy nephews slingshots (with real marble shots) and crossbows. So far God is protecting them- nothing has been broken and noone hurt. I may have hidden them, but I would deny it if brought up in front of the children. ;)

So this brings us to the bells. God love her, we were at Hobby Lobby looking for things to make Christmas crafts, and almost made it out without anything obnoxious. Almost. Just as we started putting items on the register she spotted a "precious" (her words) set of bells that were all different colors and labeled with the notes. She immediately threw them on the counter. I immediately threw up a little in my mouth.

The rest of our holiday weekend ( God was gracious in keeping it short) was filled with the joyous sounds of children playing together, people cooking the Thanksgiving meal, guys watching football, and my sister- trying to play the variety of songs that were included in the booklet that accompanied the "precious" bells, and then the other kids taking her cue and running through the house as though the redcoats were invading.

As we started taking pictures for their family Christmas card, Anna ran to get the red and green bells. Aww...the perfect props.

It was "precious."
:)

If you read it, and you have a blog.... YOU ARE TAGGED!

1. GO TO PICTURES
2. GO TO 6TH FOLDER
3. GO TO 6TH PICTURE
4. BLOG ABOUT IT!

God is teaching me about patience. I am thankful for his protection and mercy on my children while going about my instruction. It has not been an easy task for me to endure. Yes, I said endure. I am in a unique situation to many of my friends, in that my oldest child has an outside influence- another parent outside of our home. I was married previously and had him during that marriage. I won't speak ill of my ex, but will say that there are a great many differences of opinion on a great many important things- including those of related to worldview and faith. I could NEVER have imagined all of the implications all those years ago. I am thankful that God has wrapped his hands around Joe and I, too, because I KNOW Joe never imagined all that it would entail to marry me and a 3 yr old. I love that man.

One thing we have struggled with is adjusting to the fact that our son is very bright and while this is a wonderful gift, it presents a lot of challenges. Intellectually, he "gets" more than he can understand "emotionally." Add to this the fact that there are a different set of expectations at his other home, and I tell you there are some days when all I can do is let go and let God, because I have no idea what to do next- or I am afraid I will doom the kid to an adulthood of therapy. I am weird enough to do that on enough things. ;)

I have learned, and I cling to the fact that God has a special love for my son. I know he can be a Great Man of God...but I am still trying to learn how to lead him to that end. I want more than just the behavior to improve, I want his heart to yearn for God.

Today, I am having one of those days where I am taking it one breath at a time... saying very little, and letting God work.
and drinking lots of coffee.
:)

On the 3rd day of our endeavor, things are becoming more natural with Saul here. I speak only for myself here. Meaning, I am once again accustomed to rising at a decent hour, cooking breakfast, and getting dressed before rousing the other sleepyheads from their blissful sleep. This is much easier since I have reverted to the wonderful world of coffee. Sorry, folks. I tried- made it a whole week. (Sounds like the whole anti-cell phone endeavor doesn't it?) I am a much happier(read: nicer) and productive person when I have a single cup of java in my system. I would have felt better if Saul drank coffee, but in all honesty, I didn't need much more of a reason than a 6:45 alarm clock wake up to justify my downward spiral. :)

For the most part, I think Saul is adjusting great! He and the boys have a shared love for football, nerf guns and night vision goggles, as well as Wii games. There is some strange turning on and off of the shower in the morning ( it goes on, then of, then on again??) But, I worry about embarrassing him, so I may have hubby try to talk to him. That is my general rule of thumb. If I feel weird asking him something, I try to make Joe do it. His reply tends to be, " This is your thing." Then I bat my eyelashes and beg. Sometimes it works.

We did discover that the student staying down the street with our friendly neighbors speaks fluent English, so I used him yesterday to communicate to Saul that I don't mind him telling Logan to leave him alone. :) I love my son, but he can talk. Alot. Must get it from his dad. ;) Saul laughed. I think he understood what I was implying.

Ooh! I also discovered that both boys know how to Salsa dance. This could prove to be a very fun discovery if I can convince them to teach me...I feel a salsa party in the works! ( don't worry... I can pretty much guarantee Joe will nix that idea. He is allergic to dancing.)

That's all for now. Unless anyone happens to know how to make pate... His mom says he likes that. pate? as in...liver??? not sure if I can go that far.

Carrie

In a little more than 30 minutes, a plane will be touching down and Will Rogers International Airport. On board that plane is a group of young people who boarded in roughly 90 degree weather only to de-plane in the upper 30's.

In a little more than an hour I will be responsible for another living being. To feed him, to make sure he bathes, to ferry him.
( it doesn't matter what country you are from, mom's ferry the kids. I think it is truly wired into the female genome. Mary ferried Jesus- and lost him! Please Lord, don't let me lose this child. I don't think his mom would be very thrilled.)

In keeping with the female genome line of thinking, and all the side effects we suffer thus, I am of course getting rather anxious.
Oh, you know what I am talking about...
"Will he like us? Will he feel comfortable in the bed? Does the mattress still smell a little stale even though I emptied a bottle of febreeze onto it? Will he complain of a headache from the febreeze? Can you die from inhaling too much febreeze?" OY!

And then I proceed to, "Will Clara shut the bathroom door when she potties? Will she be quiet so as not to wake him up in the morning? Will he like the cereal we have? Will he like it better if I cook breakfast? Will he like the way I make eggs? Will he like our raw milk? Will he want more than milk or juice or water to drink? Will he like the water here? WIll he get diarrhea from the water here? Will he drink coffee, even though he is only 13? ( Oh, how I PRAY he does! I need an excuse to start drinking it again!)
And the insanity goes on. And on. And on.
Ad infinitum.
Ad nauseum.
But, I can't write anymore, because I still have to go put hangers in his closet and clean out a few of the dresser drawers for his clothes. Oh... Do you think he will want me to wash his clothes? Even his underwear???

AACK! at least I thought to buy the booklet entitled, " Daily Spanish for Dummies" in the dollar section at Target. At least now I should be able to understand him, right?

;) Carrie

It is in the air around here! This feeling that things are different, new. No, I did not change my hair color again (yet). Strangely enough, in our house, it has nothing to do with the fact that a NEW year has just begun. I think ours is more exciting!
We found out about a week ago that we get to stay in our sweet little home in Logan County, America. We were ready to move, to walk away thankfully, but God made it possible for us to stay. Praise Him!
In other news, Joe and I realized right after Christmas that we don't like being fluffy,,, it's highly over-rated. His sister contacted us the day after our realization, noting she felt much the same, so we all joined this great healthy -living site called and committed to making healthier choices. For us, as an added incentive, we are training to go back to where it all began for the Chlebanowskis in America, and run the Chicago Marathon in October. It could be scary, folks.
the lifestyle change is going great so far- noone has pulled any major muscles or fainted from calorie restriction, yet.
The last news I will share with you for now is about our family. Ever since my princess was born, I knew I was done having children. But, I also felt like our family was meant to have one more member. Moose has helped (he's like a perpetual toddler with his antics) but it isn't the same.
In a few short days, our family will be growing! A new child will call this house home!! YAY!
Another sweet laugh will fill the air, and another pair of feet will drag Oklahoma clay through the livingroom.
But, I won't have to potty train this one. He already sleeps through the night. Weaning is also a non-issue.
This sounds like the perfect child, no?
I think so! Too bad we are only "borrowing" him for 6 weeks.
Okay, fine, here is the truth- We are hosting a student from Panama for 6 weeks that is coming to Oklahoma to learn English through an immersion program. (Still wondering who thought Oklahoma was a great place for that, but will gladly reap the benefits!) I hope to be sharing the experience with you through my blog. Should prove to be pretty entertaining! I can only imagine the antics that will ensue when my children have a new "in-home" friend. I also hope I can provide his Madre y Padre a slight sense of relief that their baby ( 13 is still a baby ya'll!) is safe and sound here in the Good 'Ole USA...

Other things are in the works, but not ready to share, so keep checking back!
Blessed,
Carrie

1. I am fat.
2. I am fat because I love food.
3. I love food too much. My butt is a good voucher for this.
4. I think I subconsciously think the food is going to love me back.
5. The food doesn't love me back. It only loves the space it inhabits on my aforementioned butt.
6. I actually notice myself craving exercise lately. Think maybe my butt is trying to tell me something?
7. I am much more productive at doing laundry and other household chores while listening to music on my ipod.
8. Alvin and The Chipmucks has a great soundtrack.
9. I may actually get in shape with this workout routine- my house may stay clean too!
10. I am more than likely certifiable.

Here is to the close to another year, and to the blessings that are sure to come in 2009! God Bless You!
Love,
Carrie

I am really a mess this year. I LOVE cookies, fudge, and pretty much any other dessert that is commonly found in November and December. I grew up watching my dad make all of it. And eating it. And eating it. And eating it... ad nauseum. But something has happened to my body this last year. I can't eat all the foods, in the quantities of years past, without paying the price in my derriere.
As in NONE of my pants or skirts from last year will slide over my newly curvaceous figure.
By curvaceous, please be advised I DO NOT mean 50's-pinup-silhouette, nor should images of Botticelli, Da Vinci, or any other Renaissance paintings be evoked in your mind.
No, the curves of which I speak are more like the underside of the smoked ham after sitting in its plastic net-bag that are all on sale at Target right now. Not a thing of beauty to be admired for generations on end.

So, you ask, what do I do to combat this evil?

Reason says I should be making changes to accommodate my body's new lack of get-up-and-burn. And I have! I take a plethora of supplements that do make a big difference in the way I feel, and I am taking steps (itsy bitsy, teeeeeny, tiny baby steps though they may be) to switch my whole family to a raw, whole food diet, free from processed sugars and technologically derived or created "stuff."
I have experienced how the less of the bad stuff we eat, the less we miss it. Our bodies REALLY do work better when we feed them better foods. And better foods aren't necessarily what the popular and so-called "experts" tell you. They can be the total opposite, actually. Technology does not make all things better. Modern medicine does not know and cure all. Traditional, whole foods the way they were made BEFORE mass-production started are really all they are purported to be! I have realized I am not 20 and will actually have to DO something to tone up this jiggly mess.
Realization is the first step in the 12-step process, and, alas, I have not yet gotten to the step where I actually DO something...
I think that is step 12? "Hello my name is Carrie..."
All of this awareness makes me feel like I am headed in the right direction.

I have subscribed to the wisdom of "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!"

But, you want to know how I deal best with this dreaded discontent with my behind?





I make cookies and fudge and pretty much any other dessert that is commonly found in November and December.

Foggy day here today in Oklahoma. Weird Foggy. Not the normal "gone-by-midmorning" fog. I mean, it's almost evening folks and the fog never rose. This causes problems for those of us ninnies who haven't finished Christmas shopping. Snow I will drive in. Rain- big deal! Ice.. well, okay, won't go out on that either. But seriously, fog? Fog scares me. There are too many hills out here in the boonies. Too many deer. And WAY too many crazy drivers on the country roads who don't use lights, much less their brakes. Nah, I'll stay inside today and snuggle up to photoshop. Maybe actually finish editing the pictures I needed done 2 weeks ago. And, I'll make Ree's cookies 'cause they are chocolate and it feels like a chocolate day. I might actually match all the socks in our 50 gallon sock tub, too. I detest that sock tub.
Who am I kidding? I think I may go back and reclaim my spot between the two precious angels asleep on my bed. That sounds like a much better way to deal with the fog.

Perspective is a humbling thing. One moment I am feeling low and troubled because of finances, and the next I am crying at my selfishness because of a picture of a child in Haiti that is literally starving to death. I am able to start a business to help make more money, but some people can't get food for their children because there are no roads for the trucks to get to their village. I don't question why God would allow this to happen- I accepted long ago that He is WAY better at determining what is good, and right and necessary. It does place a burning on my heart, though. I reiterates my desire to serve Him by serving those in need. To go hold those babies and give them some milk. To take pictures that show others how God can use them to help. To hold their mothers' hands and tell them Jesus loves them and can save them. To encourage them with what I have learned in my seemingly miniscule situation- that even in the midst of this, God is good.

The men in suits at the big food companies have done their jobs well! My 10 yr. old has fallen for their claims that Fruit Loops are healthy because they are made with whole grains, and Sunny Delight has lots of good vitamins, so I should buy it instead of juicy Juice. Oy Vey!

We are in the process of changing our eating habits in our household. In a HUGE way. Gradually, we are eliminating processed foods, and trying to buy only whole, raw, organic products. Anyone on a budget can understand how frustrating this can be. And I would be lying if there weren't days I wanted to stand in the middle of Super Walmart and scream, "YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE FAT!!!!!!!" Because truth be told, the "cheap" foods that are accessible to people on limited incomes are killing them. They are laden with chemicals, processed beyond recognition and the preserved for longer shelf life. I am a transparent person. My family qualifies for assistance, and right now, we are using it. How crazy I must look to the cashier getting my free cheese and eggs and milk, and then filing the rest of my cart with expensive organic foods. Why is this country so unhealthy? Why can't I get free range eggs that are better for me kids for free? Why does it cost $10 a lb to buy chicken and beef that hasn't been bred to be "plumper" or fed soy??? 100 years ago our food sources weren't genetically altered or bred for production, chemicals weren't sprayed all over vegetables to make sure more got to the production plants, and guess what.. less cancer, less obesity, ADD was UNHEARD of as was autism, food allergies and a long list of other problems. OH! and they ATE ANIMAL FAT!!!! and hardly any of them had heart disease. Thank goodness in our modern age of science and technology, things ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!! Oy vey!
I think I need to go have a big glass of milk that came from a cow roaming around somewhere in a field in Asher, OK and take a nap! :)

I am excited we aren't moving. I was excited that we were moving. Sounds like I am a confused individual, doesn't it? I'm not- not in the slightest! (disclaimer: I am not confused about this particular subject. Many things confuse and confound me, but we will delve into those at a later date.)
I think I can rationalize how I can say both of the aforementioned sentiments and mean them is by telling you I have learned to be content in my life. I am content to stay here. I am content to move. I am content to be in a position to be content!
Put simply, I am at a place where I won't let myself become too attached to any "thing"- in this case, our house. I LOVE this house (except the flooding back yard, but given time and $$ that can be remedied) and all that goes with it. More than that, I love the people who fill my days that are close to this house. Many have crossed the line from friends to family in our 2 years here. BUT, take the house away, and I will STILL have those people. I won't have my cute garden, or the portrait wall, or my perennial garden, ,but those friends have become a permanent part of my life. I could move to Timbuktu and still have them in my life. So all is good in my eyes.
For now I am relishing the ability to have a messy house if I want to ( last minute showings about sent me over the edge!) and I think I may begin personalizing my "house" again this week. Anyone like to come help paint?

I have believed for a long time that any skills I have in photography are gifts from my Lord. It is that knowledge that prompted me to do my work with organizations like NILMDTS and the ACPCG, and fired me up to do the sessions with a local pediatric hospice. I cannot describe the blessings I have received and the grace and strength I have witnessed in the families I have met through those experiences. It really puts life and its struggles in perspective. But, I want to do more. I NEED to do more. Ever since I can remember, I get a feel a strong tug at my heart when I read or hear about missions. Over seas, but particularly Africa. I used to reason it off to the fact that I grew up in the 80's- the age of Live Aid. But when I shared my "weird" obsession recently with a visiting missionary at our church's missions conference, she explained it perfectly by saying, "Praise God for that!" Isn't it funny that I, a practicing Christian so willing to give God credit for everything else in my life, never once considered that He had placed this desire on my heart! Since that "Ah ha!" moment, I have been praying and looking actively for a way to use my photography in the mission field. At first I told my husband wanted to move the family to Africa for a year so I could teach at a school for missionary children. Those of you who know my husband will be shocked to hear that he didn't laugh. I was shocked he didn't laugh, actually. I was shocked he didn't do more than laugh! He doesn't share the desire to do missions. But here is the amazing part- he told me that if I felt I was called to do something, even if he wasn't interested in it, he couldn't say no. He couldn't deny me from going where the Spirit leads me. After alot of discussion, we both agreed a year in Africa, though an amazing experience, was not the right "fit" at this stage in our lives. So now I am actively looking for short term missions that need a photographer with a Journalism degree to-boot in spreading the word about spreading the Word. It's the Great Commission, 21st Century style!

The day on which home schooling mother awakens prepared and eager to start the week on a great note, has showered, made coffee and prepared the lessons for the day is also the day her oldest child will awaken ill and hence spend the entire morning sleeping in bed.

quote for the day (courtesy of "The Pioneer Woman

"Homeschooling....There is no substitute."

7 months- time since my last post (shameful)
2 months- time since I left my teaching position
1 month- time since I started homeschooling ( seriously, that's it??)
11 miles- distance into town from where I currently live
1,308 miles- distance to where I WANT to live from where I currently live (courtesy of google maps)
3- number of different haircolors I have had in the past 2 months
3- number of children I am currently neglecting to type this post
2 lb- amount of raw chicken my dog eats each day
2 gals- quantity of raw milk I purchased for my children this week
too much to count- the laundry awaiting me...

enjoy your day for me!

How is it FEBRUARY????
Ugh...
Well, It is and things here are crazy as always. I am beginning to wonder if I could even function or if I would know what to do if there wasn't SOME kind of drama in my life...I think God is yelling "SLOW DOWN!!" but, see, I have this little problem called "over-committal" and it makes the letters "N-O" virtually impossible to say. My lips are seemingly incapable of forming that word, to the extent I am beginning to wonder if this condition is not merely psychological, but physiological- I will do some research and get back to you on that. If life goes true to form, I wouldn't expect the conclusion to that research to be available anytime in the next 4 mths.
I am also going through a huge internal struggle right now. I LOVE teaching. LOVE LOVE LOVE it... crazy passionately LOVE it. I LOVE photography. LOVE it...confused teenager LOVE it. See my problem? Aaah.. I dunno, I suppose I need to just pray about it some more, bore my husband to tears with my rambling internal-turned-external debates, and see if it isn't just a case of "I always feel this way about photography in January and February."
Because, truth be told, there is something magical about spring and the newness of things that changes my perspective...

so for now, I will reminisce of happier times, days when the eggnog was still on your breath, the tinsel still hanging on the tree, and I had 3 more days of not getting up at 5:30 am...:)