I am not naive. I know there are alot of people out there- some very close to me- who hear or read that we are considering adoption and think, " they have no business doing that!" or "they have so many struggles they are FINALLY getting through, they shouldn't think about doing that." or "they are irresponsible for even talking about it." and on and on it goes. They are thinking of the time, energy, and of course MONEY it takes to bring a child home and then raise him or her. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me. I'd be dishonest if I said it doesn't make me angry. But not because of what they are saying about me...it's what they are saying about our God that gets me so fired up.
So here's my response:

"they have so many struggles they are FINALLY getting through, they shouldn't think about doing that." - the only way we have gotten through those struggles is being led by God through our faith in him. God never promised us we'd be "comfortable and without struggles." In fact, as a Christian, I am basically guaranteed to face spiritual war... and comfort is relative. I guarantee my life is unimaginably comfortably compared to a crowded orphanage in Africa.

"they are irresponsible for even talking about it." - we're ignoring our Father's commandment if we ignore it. I'm not suggesting that EVERY believer should bring a child home. But I am stating that EVERY believer should help the widows and the orphans.

Obviously, I have gotten pretty emotional about this subject. I think about it all the time. And because I imagine some might be asking how that affects my life with the family I ALREADY have, I will tell you. I have never been so intentional in my interactions with my husband and my children as I have been the last month. I grieve deeply when I wrong them, I pray constantly for them- and nightly with them. I have been given a HUGE gift in my family and the opportunity to show them Christ's light in their day- I want to give everything I can to that end. There are too many kids in the world that will never get to see that light. How can I not take it seriously? It is an easy choice for me. But I also know that God has called me to give that love, to shine that light for another child who would otherwise only know darkness.

I won't even go into the money issue here. read my previous posts if you need proof on how God has worked in that area of our lives.

I follow alot of blogs- and one of them highlighted a family recently that is a huge inspiration to me. They are younger than Joe and I and have 3 kids biologically, and have adopted 6 more, AND just found out they are expecting a child. First, relax. I am not saying I want 10 kids (yet)... but I love their motto, and while I can't say that I envy her laundry situation, I do aspire to her trust in God...and pray that I can raise as many children as God deems mine to love him and serve him and go out into the world with that same understanding.

Here's what she wrote to those who asked the question "WHY???"

I pray that with each day, I can live her answers.

"We are often asked WHY? Why would we adopt THREE kids, more-less SIX kids? Why would we do this? Why devote our lives to this “cause” (if you can truly even call it that).
Here’s why:

-Because we believe that this life is not our own.

-Because we believe that in the end, it won’t matter what career ladders we climbed or financial investments we made or what gadgets we could afford. It will matter that six lives were saved.

-Because we have seen hopelessness firsthand in Ethiopia and elsewhere, but believe in all hope that each child is a child of God.

-Because we believe that the orphaned street child who plays street soccer on the rough pavement of the streets of Addis Ababa is no less valuable to the Creator than the polished child on a suburban soccer team here in America.

-Because we see nothing more worthy of our focus, time, resources, and lives.

-Because injustice is a wrong worth righting.

-Because the poor child is still a child.

-Because we know that, while adoption is not the solution in and of itself to the orphan crisis 143 million times over, we have seen with our own lives how it rescues the lives of those who can be adopted.

-Because we believe that Jesus died for redemption, not just for eternity, but for our lives on this planet and we believe we can be vessels of that redemption for children’s lives here.

-Because we know that, if it were our own flesh and blood, we would want someone to love them and call them family, too.

-Because, really, these kids are no different from your own. Not at all.

-Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a home when we have one.

-Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs a family when we have one.

-Because it’s just not okay with us to say no to a child who needs room to thrive when we have room and can make room.

-Because it’s just not okay with us to do nothing.

-Because it won’t be okay with them if we do nothing.

-Because it’s just not going to be okay to do nothing."

Heidi Weimer

"Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
Even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water.
Even if the Earth crumbles under my feet
Even if the ones I love
Turn around and crucify me
I won’t ever ever let you down
I won’t fall
I won’t fall
I won’t fall as long as you’re around me"


These song lyrics by Christian group Needtobreathe struck me the first time I heard them. It came out at a time when every worldly thing in my life was in limbo. The house I loved was on the market- too expensive for us to stay in. The phone rang off the hook, day in and day out with calls from people wanting to be paid -seemingly unconcerned with the fact that paying them would mean not feeding my children. The flood wasn't rising, it was overcoming me. But I didn't fall. Not even once.

The storms I went through last fall were a real ground zero in the battleground of my faith. It was the first time since my mom died that I have gone through such a monumental event. And like the earlier struggle, my faith became stronger and more solid, and I saw more than ever that God IS around me. He alone can hold me up. It's an amazing experience to actually throw yourself into his arms- without fear.

All of this is running through my mind today, the song, the past year, because my oldest son, now 11 is being baptized this Sunday. I was only one year older than he is now when I did the same. I still have the picture of me and the others on the beach in Jacksonville. It was a windy day, and the current was strong. I remember being really nervous that the seawater would go up my nose and I would gag or blow snot out my nose in front of all the spectators. Those were the biggest worries I had at 12.

Logan, on the other hand, worries about why God gave us free will. Or, why Satan works harder to pull him away since he is a firstborn. And, why does Adam's original sin still affect us today? And others so complex I can't remember them.

On one hand, I hear his questions and want to run screaming to my pastor and beg him to enroll Logan in seminary so I don't have to think that hard. But on the other hand, I am in awe of my child. I am amazed at the concepts he grasps at such a young age in relation to theology- and about life in general. I look at him today, and realize that I am only now as an adult, asking many of the same questions he is at 12! I am jealous that he will have a deeper relationship with his creator than I did in his transition to adulthood. And I am thankful that God is blessing him with this curiosity about his Saviour.

So, I will celebrate his decision to proclaim his faith with him on Sunday, knowing that even though he makes me pull my hair out most days with his ceaseless questions and incessant attempts to rationalize EVERYTHING he does, there is no question about his heart's desire.

I will rejoice that when the floods come into his life, as they always do, that he will undoubtedly understand and know that he won't ever fall- God is around him.

Around these parts, cleaning is somewhat of a fad. A fleeting "mood" that I stumble into at random times, or as is more often the case, I frantically try to accomplish before company comes over. I will try to tell you that I subscribe to the creed, " I live in a home-not a museum!" but, if I were to be honest, I should say it boils down to laziness, exhaustion and plain just-not-caring most of the time. The paradox is- I hate clutter! Abhor it! It makes me feel itchy and twitchy and my skin all creepy crawly. I feel my heart beat faster and I get nervous. This reaction seems odd, I know.
My friends out there with children will no doubt say, " wait a few 18 yrs and it will be clean again." But the kids' messes aren't the issue. It's my messes that truly irritate me. And I have finally figured out why!
I can't stand the idea that people would be able to see a physical, spacial, worldly representation of what the inside of my brain looks like.
It is a disaster. I am a walking, talking, drama-inducing hazmat situation.
SOOO.. this year, in addition to trying to declutter and organize my home (quit snickering, Joe), I am also going to listen to Madge and "Free my mind..!" Mostly, I am going to finally do alot of the things on my To Do list that I have procrastinated on. They eat at me. All day. Today, as I made no fewer than 700 copies of old credit card receipts, my mind was scrolling through all of the things I need to do. For me. For friends. For family. Photography. Bills. Sewing.... oh, the sewing...(ok. I won't lie. I can't WAIT to do the sewing!) Various assortments of tasks that I have pushed aside till later. It is later. They are getting done. I am tired of being tired from fretting about NOT having done them yet.
An obvious side effect of allowing my brain more breathing room, and clearing away its cobwebs will be the ability to compose many more blog entries. Entries that will hopefully be more than just an insight into my insanity I call life, but rather- might actually inspire you! I know- laugh. I just did. But, who knows? Stranger things have happened. I taught 3rd grade remember? THAT is pretty strange- yet, it happened! Leslie Nielson pretended to pass gas on me in the OKC airport. That is BEYOND strange, and yes, I am sad to say, it also happened.
So, enjoy the benefits. Check back often. Bring a glass of wine if you like. You may read about the exciting life of an Administrative Professional, or see pictures of my kids that will make you chuckle. You may even get to follow a journey to Africa for adoption.(praying VERY hard on that one!) You'll get more of me! :)

On the 3rd day of our endeavor, things are becoming more natural with Saul here. I speak only for myself here. Meaning, I am once again accustomed to rising at a decent hour, cooking breakfast, and getting dressed before rousing the other sleepyheads from their blissful sleep. This is much easier since I have reverted to the wonderful world of coffee. Sorry, folks. I tried- made it a whole week. (Sounds like the whole anti-cell phone endeavor doesn't it?) I am a much happier(read: nicer) and productive person when I have a single cup of java in my system. I would have felt better if Saul drank coffee, but in all honesty, I didn't need much more of a reason than a 6:45 alarm clock wake up to justify my downward spiral. :)

For the most part, I think Saul is adjusting great! He and the boys have a shared love for football, nerf guns and night vision goggles, as well as Wii games. There is some strange turning on and off of the shower in the morning ( it goes on, then of, then on again??) But, I worry about embarrassing him, so I may have hubby try to talk to him. That is my general rule of thumb. If I feel weird asking him something, I try to make Joe do it. His reply tends to be, " This is your thing." Then I bat my eyelashes and beg. Sometimes it works.

We did discover that the student staying down the street with our friendly neighbors speaks fluent English, so I used him yesterday to communicate to Saul that I don't mind him telling Logan to leave him alone. :) I love my son, but he can talk. Alot. Must get it from his dad. ;) Saul laughed. I think he understood what I was implying.

Ooh! I also discovered that both boys know how to Salsa dance. This could prove to be a very fun discovery if I can convince them to teach me...I feel a salsa party in the works! ( don't worry... I can pretty much guarantee Joe will nix that idea. He is allergic to dancing.)

That's all for now. Unless anyone happens to know how to make pate... His mom says he likes that. pate? as in...liver??? not sure if I can go that far.

Carrie

In a little more than 30 minutes, a plane will be touching down and Will Rogers International Airport. On board that plane is a group of young people who boarded in roughly 90 degree weather only to de-plane in the upper 30's.

In a little more than an hour I will be responsible for another living being. To feed him, to make sure he bathes, to ferry him.
( it doesn't matter what country you are from, mom's ferry the kids. I think it is truly wired into the female genome. Mary ferried Jesus- and lost him! Please Lord, don't let me lose this child. I don't think his mom would be very thrilled.)

In keeping with the female genome line of thinking, and all the side effects we suffer thus, I am of course getting rather anxious.
Oh, you know what I am talking about...
"Will he like us? Will he feel comfortable in the bed? Does the mattress still smell a little stale even though I emptied a bottle of febreeze onto it? Will he complain of a headache from the febreeze? Can you die from inhaling too much febreeze?" OY!

And then I proceed to, "Will Clara shut the bathroom door when she potties? Will she be quiet so as not to wake him up in the morning? Will he like the cereal we have? Will he like it better if I cook breakfast? Will he like the way I make eggs? Will he like our raw milk? Will he want more than milk or juice or water to drink? Will he like the water here? WIll he get diarrhea from the water here? Will he drink coffee, even though he is only 13? ( Oh, how I PRAY he does! I need an excuse to start drinking it again!)
And the insanity goes on. And on. And on.
Ad infinitum.
Ad nauseum.
But, I can't write anymore, because I still have to go put hangers in his closet and clean out a few of the dresser drawers for his clothes. Oh... Do you think he will want me to wash his clothes? Even his underwear???

AACK! at least I thought to buy the booklet entitled, " Daily Spanish for Dummies" in the dollar section at Target. At least now I should be able to understand him, right?

;) Carrie

It is in the air around here! This feeling that things are different, new. No, I did not change my hair color again (yet). Strangely enough, in our house, it has nothing to do with the fact that a NEW year has just begun. I think ours is more exciting!
We found out about a week ago that we get to stay in our sweet little home in Logan County, America. We were ready to move, to walk away thankfully, but God made it possible for us to stay. Praise Him!
In other news, Joe and I realized right after Christmas that we don't like being fluffy,,, it's highly over-rated. His sister contacted us the day after our realization, noting she felt much the same, so we all joined this great healthy -living site called and committed to making healthier choices. For us, as an added incentive, we are training to go back to where it all began for the Chlebanowskis in America, and run the Chicago Marathon in October. It could be scary, folks.
the lifestyle change is going great so far- noone has pulled any major muscles or fainted from calorie restriction, yet.
The last news I will share with you for now is about our family. Ever since my princess was born, I knew I was done having children. But, I also felt like our family was meant to have one more member. Moose has helped (he's like a perpetual toddler with his antics) but it isn't the same.
In a few short days, our family will be growing! A new child will call this house home!! YAY!
Another sweet laugh will fill the air, and another pair of feet will drag Oklahoma clay through the livingroom.
But, I won't have to potty train this one. He already sleeps through the night. Weaning is also a non-issue.
This sounds like the perfect child, no?
I think so! Too bad we are only "borrowing" him for 6 weeks.
Okay, fine, here is the truth- We are hosting a student from Panama for 6 weeks that is coming to Oklahoma to learn English through an immersion program. (Still wondering who thought Oklahoma was a great place for that, but will gladly reap the benefits!) I hope to be sharing the experience with you through my blog. Should prove to be pretty entertaining! I can only imagine the antics that will ensue when my children have a new "in-home" friend. I also hope I can provide his Madre y Padre a slight sense of relief that their baby ( 13 is still a baby ya'll!) is safe and sound here in the Good 'Ole USA...

Other things are in the works, but not ready to share, so keep checking back!
Blessed,
Carrie

The day on which home schooling mother awakens prepared and eager to start the week on a great note, has showered, made coffee and prepared the lessons for the day is also the day her oldest child will awaken ill and hence spend the entire morning sleeping in bed.

quote for the day (courtesy of "The Pioneer Woman

"Homeschooling....There is no substitute."